The most common complaint I hear from people that enter my therapy office is that they are not happy. Not happy with their marriage, partner, children, friends or relatives. Not happy at work, school, or home. They seek therapy in order to find what they believe is a path to happiness.

A large part of the work I do is goal setting with the emphasis on the moment. It is assessing the state the person is currently in and what needs to be changed for improvement. How to get there is the process we work on. However, the end result is not happiness.

“Happy” is a feeling, not a permanent state. A person can be happy for a moment or longer. It can be the feeling of joy when you learn something new, celebrate an occasion or the arrival of your newborn. That joy dissipates when we resume our daily living. Happiness doesn’t remain fixed, as some people would like to believe. Therefore, it is not a goal that is possible obtain.

Contentment and satisfaction should and can be part of everyone’s life. These feelings are obtainable by each and every one of us and are longer lasting. It is the peace of knowing you gave it your all. It is the belief that where you are now in life is good or acceptable.

In short, happiness is not a destination. It is a positive feeling that motivates us on our journey in life. So, take time to recognize and capture the moments.

For Relationship Problems Laguna Hills, call Dr. Heidi Berman at (949) 716-5150, ext. 1